a mouth kept shut

2008-10-06T13:11:00.000-07:00

I live in Bellingham now. A girl just fed my meter and all the meters next to mine.

Growing up is stupid.

2008-09-25T01:36:00.000-07:00

For about 20 minutes tonight I reactivated my facebook account. In that time, my head nearly exploded. I don't think I should do that ever again.

Best summer ever, part deux.

2008-08-06T16:45:00.000-07:00

Finals are over. Weddings are this weekend. I bought a charger for my little camera.

Best.

summer.

ever.

Bring it.

Tall nonfat chai, chocolate donut.

2008-07-09T10:06:00.000-07:00

Mornings like this, after playing a superfun show in one of my favorite towns with some of my favorite people, getting three hours of sleep and still waking up too late to do exactly what I'm supposed to and opting instead for the old reliable morning combo when it's completely gorgeous out and browsing assorted music jobs on craigslist (apparently some of these actually exist), I get antsy. The restless legs kick in and I think of how I kind of miss things like the Coffee Bean's Moroccan mint latte and the urge to just walk around because I was somewhere I'd never been with nowhere I needed to be and even the residential areas were worth gawking at and waking up to the sun on a lake blinding me from the side of the freeway. Good gravy, can we make a record so we can go on tour?

Here are some things I currently love in the order in which I love them:
1 - My mom
2 - My dog
3 - Connecticut Four/Playing music with Meghan and Valerie
4 - Learning to play bass, learning to skateboard, learning about angler fish... learning, just in general.
5 - Liking the boy that I like
6 - Summer!

I want to love you.

2008-06-20T16:23:00.000-07:00

This is going to be the best summer since 2006.

1.A.) As of 12:30 this afternoon, I am officially a beauty school dropout. Monday at 8 AM I start hauling stupid amounts of ass to try to get into the UW's undergrad neurobiology program. Bring it.

1.B.) I get to keep all my tools and education from beauty school, so I can totally do your hair and nails for free.

2.) The band is called Connecticut Four, and I love those girls and playing music with them even more than I love Canadian Slurpees or potato burritos. Together as a system we are unbeatable.

3.) Meghan and I had our first run-in with authority as skateboarders last night on our Positiv boards. Apparently security doesn't like when we push shopping carts while on skateboards.

4.) Jackson and Phil and the record! JACKSON AND PHIL!!!!!!! And the RECORD!!!!

5.) I'm not giving up hope.

Watermelon nights are erasing all the teardrops on your face.

2008-05-24T13:59:00.000-07:00

This week's been iffy (except for the acquisition of Wii Fit!), but yesterday definitely compensated:

Started working on the guitar straps, and I can't tell you how much cooler they are turning out for me doing them from scratch rather than embellishing the pre-made kind. I found hardware and really cute textiles. Say goodbye to bunniesxo and hello to the Hypomanic Empire.

Last night I got to see some great friends and excellent bands. After BOAT (and the Young Sportsmen - How have I not seen them before? They're so good!) at KTUB, I headed to Fremont just in time to catch Tennis Pro. During the set, some grown woman thought I was married to Phil, so I accidentally convinced her that he was my dad instead (My words were, "No, he's like my dad," but I think she heard, "No, he's, like, my dad."). After the set she told me my dad had done a good job and "that guitar guy is hellacute." Thank you, High Dive.

Today's highlight so far has been discovering that the UW has an undergrad program for neurobiology. YES!!!!

I'll try to squeeze a drop of blood from a sugarcube.

2008-05-12T16:51:00.000-07:00

My heart hurts. It could be any number of things. For example:

+ I got a MySpace message from Ted Leo! Neat!
+ There was a party for Jack and Erika! Friends and sugarcubes have never been so surreal!
+ I've found suitable replacements for the red Keds I had to throw away in the UK! Yeah!
+ There's a theory that the female orgasm might function as part of a selective fertilization process. Though this might sound terribly facetious, I think it's the sweetest thing I've ever heard on the matter.
+ At 3:39pm today, I was certain of something all the way down into my bones. That's pretty rare for me, and this time it was really comforting.
- Phil was attacked?
- Bidding mysteriously ended four days early on the ancient Gallien Krueger 400b I was totally going to win on eBay.
- Someone I'm supposed to respect used the non-word "irregardless" while other people I probably should respect out of courtesy didn't even flinch.
- Everything sounds terrible with noise reduction on, but everything sounds noisy with noise reduction off.

Even when you then cross it out.

2008-04-28T21:54:00.000-07:00

1 - I'm really happy that Lost is back on.
2 - I ran a red light in front of a cop today and nothing happened.
3 - Now that I don't go to American Music out here anymore, I find myself wondering after going to the other three music stores here: Does anyone actually ever buy those ugly celestial paisley guitar straps?! How can there be not a single suitable guitar strap in three music stores?! (And yes, this does mean I am officially making guitar straps again. I'll let you know when they go up for sale and this time I'm making them from scratch out of higher quality materials, suckaz!)
4 - While I'm ranting about music stores, I think Mills Music's idea of a "MASSIVE GUITAR & BASS AMP SALE" (imagine my eyes widening as I drove up) is hilarious considering that they carry approximately six amplifiers in the store (imagine my heart sinking as I walked in), all of the bedroom practice variety (that is, tiny and maybe 20 watts if you're lucky).
5 - Last of the music store rants for today: When your store's bass specialist is recommending to me what Tall Chris refers to as "basses that look like a diseased penis" to play loud rock music, I stop trusting his taste in amplifiers. And besides, I don't think I want the sportscar. Those aren't any more versatile than the freight train. I want the freight train!
6 - My life is full of girls lately between the video, cosmetology school and the new band. It's like I'm making up for all that time I didn't know how to hang out with girls. It's kind of cool.
7 - Gratitude for being friends with a good handful of great dudes completely and definitely outweighs disappointment from that built-in want that still doesn't get fed.
8 - About that video, it's making me remember how much I love busking.
9 - About that new band, playing good music loud with Meghan and Valerie is probably my favorite thing since the best day/night I've ever had (the one when I drove home afterwards thinking I'd die in a car crash because I was too happy to still be alive).
10 - I'm busy enough now that even three-day weekends aren't enough time to get everything done that should be getting done over the weekend. Shit.

Only dumb boys think I'm clever.

2008-04-11T03:06:00.000-07:00

WTF, estrogen, WTF?! Weirdest PMS ever! I've felt like a cartoon character all day!

Today's dumb story is about how this guy selling me a bass kept trying to ask me out and I still don't know how to be dishonest or mean so now the ghost of guitar wankers past might show up at KTUB later. Shit. Meanwhile, I drove home with my new bass wanting to cry and take, like, 10 showers because I only like one boy, and until I get to yell the specifics of that from an internet hilltop without it being weird, I can at least yell that it's not the longhaired dude in the leather vest and white collared shirt. I had really good self esteem until only gross dudes ever showed any interest, just like I liked the word beautiful until only pervy dudes ever used it.

The night got better, though. Prattular made me laugh a ton and then I bought a Slurpee in Iron Man's helmet and played Final Fantasy. I've basically been laughing all night and I'm finally tired. I'm also doing a terrible job gearing up for being on a grown-up's schedule. I'll have to work on that.

I like to eat Cheerios.

2008-04-07T14:12:00.000-07:00

Nerds go here and scroll down. How did I not hear about this until a month later? Take a ch-chance.

I really like Bellingham quite a lot. I played a show there the other night and it was fun. There were nice people, and for some reason Aaron at Fantasia was like, "Can you play for an hour?" and I was like, "Sure!" I've never played an hour-long set before. I have more than enough songs to, it's just that I've never done it. The occasion's never come up. I slept well afterwards. Oh, and beforehand at the open mic, Valerie tap danced and played ukulele and sang and it was pretty much the greatest thing ever.

I'm playing another acoustic show on Wednesday, and I really hope people come to it, 'cause I love when there are people at the shows. Otherwise it's awkward, y'know? Plus, Lesli Wood and Like Claws! will be playing music too!

And then Friday Shook Ones and Like Claws! are at KTUB! YAY!

Looks like there won't be a California trek before classes start for me, but I still feel like going somewhere all the time. I almost want to make an extra resolution for 2008, though, about not traveling alone for a little while. I feel like I've done so much of it that I don't even know what it's like to be with people anymore... Let's go on adventures!

I still want to ask.

2008-03-29T11:04:00.000-07:00

First of all, this is the news (and it's not even April Fools Day):

For a span of six dates this coming June, Ted Leo and The Pharmacists will temporarily leave behind a trail of intimate clubs and humid festival grounds to rock a different crowd as the opener for Pearl Jam.

There's a part of me making some major considerations about the price of airfare and Madison Square Garden tickets.

Not news: For years I thought the concept of a fish taco was gross. While I am one of those vegetarians who will sometimes eat things that come from the ocean and it's in my blood to enjoy some of it, fish tacos sounded like a really bad idea that I didn't realize actually existed until after moving to this coast. Yesterday, I thought I'd give it a go. I was making most decisions based on eenie-meenie-miney-mo, and that's what it landed on.

...It was not a good idea.

But a few good things:

+ Finding the "THANKS FOR THE ASS IN BED" sign I thought I lost! (I think it's a sign.)
+ Cutting off even more of my hair, ditching the pink, donning the Snow White headband
+ Leo, just in general
+ Hoping that the sweet $10 hi-tops I saw yesterday are still there today waiting for me to buy them

Tonight has way too many options including but not limited to:

Tennis Pro cd release @ King Cobra
Besties and half of BOAT @ Stickman Coffee
Megasapien @ Ground Zero
recording

It's around my neck.

2008-03-22T19:07:00.000-07:00

Anyone miss seeing Racetrack play shows the way I miss seeing Racetrack play shows? That's what I thought. Lucky for us, I just dug this and this up and out of the depths of my computer.

Latest kicks:

+ Gatorade AM, specifically the orange-strawberry flavour
+ Original-style E.L. Fudge cookies
+ Season 3 of Lost
+ Sewing
+ Basil not-beef as made by my mother
+ The bracelet I just made

Ten gerbera daisies, three Orangina bottles.

2008-03-18T10:51:00.000-07:00

I spent my weekend laying low despite the fact that I meant to be in attendance at at least three different parties. Why? Oh yeah, because I'm a poor judge of how healed I am and also terribly clumsy. See also: hurting oneself while trying to set up a Sega Genesis. Growlies. Sorry friends.

In better news, though, I'm officially counted in for one of each color of these:

Kool Aid and Shooks, together at last! YES! (And by YES! I mean OH YEAH!) If you want it, come and get it here.

Blood fountains.

2008-03-13T19:43:00.000-07:00

So, getting my teeth out wasn't so bad, actually. I was prepared for it to take hours, but I didn't even get all the way through Shake the Sheets. Any time I started freaking out at the bloody reflection in the dentist's safety goggles as he held my chin down and, literally, yanked really hard, I had to keep from smiling. I'm not some weird pain kid, I just had good thoughts in my head. I tried the Vicodin and didn't like it much, so it's pretty much just been antibiotics and the first season of Lost over here.

Hey, who wants to tell me what their favorite music videos are?!

Never wanted to need anybody.

2008-03-05T15:59:00.000-08:00

1 - I almost made a big deal about it, but this is temporarily up for anyone who missed me at the Mars Bar on Saturday. It's a bad video of a newish song. (Actually, not that new; I wrote it while I was still in LA.)

2 - I'm bidding my wisdom teeth farewell on Tuesday... wide awake. I'm pretty terrified, so if anyone who makes mixes or playlists or whatever wants to make me one or suggestions for some stuff for me to put on continuous play on my iPod while the dentist makes drilling and clangy noises in the blood fountain that will be the back of my mouth, please feel free.

3 - I will probably be the opposite of cute for about a week or so after the extraction, but if any of my best mates who don't care if I'm cute or not want to appreciate juice or liquified food or my bruised and swollen face with me, that's cool.

4 - After a year and a half of living off of savings, I'm employed once more. It'll be especially fun when I'm also in school 40 hours a week and supplementing my traditional training with independent learning. On top of that, there's two musical projects and all that comes with them, plus being crushed out on the coolest boy ever, plus wanting to start voice lessons again and maybe also guitar... I have no doubt I'll sort it out, but holy goodness. I've never looked so busy on paper before.

5 - Shake Yourself Awake is a really good record. I can't believe I didn't just iTunes it from LA. I finally own it and it is awesome.

I want my hands in your hair.

2008-03-03T20:50:00.000-08:00

1 - Leo just had an accident on the carpet... in the shape of a heart!!! I took a picture of it but will spare you unless requested otherwise since I know not everyone's into amazing dog pee formations.

2 - I played a show sort of last minute-like on Saturday night with Lesli Wood at the Mars Bar. I have a few kinda bad videos from it. In fact, all of my videos from other people that night were disappointing. I'm still debating posting any of those just 'cause the video is so... meh... but the audio is pretty alright, and one of those songs really needs to go to somebody's ear soon.

3 - I am officially moving in, right now. It's a little scary for me, but it shouldn't be. Last time I moved in somewhere thinking I'd be there a year, I was out three months later. What I mean is... I painted my walls (the colour of a Tiffany's box, I realized today) and I have a bed. There's no way to express how weird that feels to me now. I might have to have a roomwarming party or something.

I'm not always okay, but you make it good.

2008-02-25T23:31:00.001-08:00

What is this notion of expressed affection being something that scares people away? Remind me why we're scared again?

And speaking of expressed affection, I'm declaring my love for this video:

Someday without trying you'll find something that's rare.

2008-02-18T12:28:00.000-08:00

Oh my gosh. I can't even tell you how happy I've been. I'm going to go find a new notebook to squee in just to respect his privacy and all, but... yeah. I'm so happy. I was kind of scared I might die in a car crash on the way home for being so happy. Happy's the only word I've got right now.

Currently drinking: Orangina.

Maybe to balance out how manic I've been lately, I seem to be going through a pretty great soul music phase consisting primarily of a fixation with Brenda Holloway singing "Every Little Bit Hurts." But even that's kinda making way for putting "Supercrush" and "Puzzle Pieces" by Tiger Trap on repeat along with Michael Jackson's "PYT." It's called giddy, I think.

Also, weirdest thing ever, I kind of have an urge to visit LA. I thought for sure just rolling up and down to and from Bellingham would take care of the need to wander, but I start classes in a little more than a month and seem to have this restless legs thing going on. Yeesh.

Sonic Boom's last day in Fremont. Oh memories....

The luckiest.

2008-02-14T09:50:00.000-08:00

Phillip Peterson and Eric Howk. Don't you ever let anyone tell you I don't love those guys with all my heart because holy cow, those guys are like my guardian angels (my incredibly talented, supergenius guardian angels). I have some rough mixes of things that are all sorts of incredible. You know why? Because my friends are amazing.

Also, I had a rad birthday. I hope you also had an excellent my birthday. Today is all about love, I hear. But I also decided that about yesterday.

And on a related-but-not-in-the-obvious-way note: I'm not scared, I'm excited. I'm not nervous, I'm excited. I'm excited!

Extra bonus: Dinosaur Jr. concert on On Demand! Most excellent!

Goodbye 20, forever 21.

2008-02-13T12:04:00.000-08:00

What 20 was:
+ A ludicrous amount of traveling, mostly alone.
+ Adopting my beautiful little monster (Leo) from an overcrowded shelter!
+ Seeing Jarvis Cocker perform. You have to understand, I got into Pulp after they'd stopped doing anything. I never thought I'd get to see Jarvis Cocker live, but I was wrong!
+ Seeing Ted Leo + Rx three times, including the time I convinced a rather dim security guard I was allowed backstage just before the encore. Ted Leo shows are one of my favorite things in the whole entire world.
+ Discovering the power of changing my hair. It went reddish, then pink, then I had most of it cut off. The last part probably means the most to me even if it's the one people seem to like the least. I know it sounds cheesy, but for me, having all my hair cut off means dealing with what's there instead of what I've been hiding behind.
+ Leaving Los Angeles, moving back to the place that I built my silly ideals on in the first place.
+ Liking a nice boy for the first time.

What I want 21 to be:
+ Good times doing good things with good people.
+ More traveling, preferably not alone.
+ Being awesome.
+ Seeing Ted Leo some more.

...And I guess it'd be alright if it turns out that nice boy likes me back, too.

Happy my birthday!

Being a nurse doesn't stop you from playing music, it just means you get paid $40 an hour.

2008-02-05T02:37:00.000-08:00

Practice with Chris at long last occurred! I've apparently written a Foo Fighters song. It's pretty much my favorite right now even though it may well be another one of those things where I make a song for someone and then that person gets all freaked out and heads for the hills. Not that it's a far trek out here. Well, plus that's actually never really happened. I just keep imagining it that way ever since the 7th grade when I pulled Byron Norris aside at the dance and told him I liked him and he said he liked Andrea and not me and I stood there in the really pretty skirt my mom made for me going, "oh, okay." Gaaaaahhhhh.

....Anyway.

The new plan for the band is to recruit pretty much all of Shook Ones. Watch out, dudes. I might have potato sacks and Chris might have access to sedatives.

...Kidding.

Not a single one of those guys would fit in a potato sack.

You are.

2008-02-04T01:29:00.000-08:00

"Hey, Cristina, what are you doing?"
"Me? Oh, nothing, just watching my friends dressed like Chris Walla in a Zissou hat on MTV2."
The "You're watching Subterranean on MTV2" bar across Jackson's eyes was amazing.

1. Boys are confusing. Even the ones that everyone says are nice.
2. I am antsy to play shows.
3. I found footage of a Ted Leo sans Pharmacists show from 2003 and now dream of traveling back in time and playing shows with solo Ted Leo... and also totally weirding him out by singing along with his new (at the time) songs.
4. I've been craving a drive for a few nights now. I'm trying to save it for Shook Ones in PDX on the 15th. Any takers?
5. I'm once again declaring my birthday as the start of the new year.
6. My birthday week contains numerous potential good times. If you are one of those people that I like, I'd love if you were there for at least one of those good times.
7. I fixed my phone!

Textplosion madness.

2008-01-31T15:06:00.000-08:00

Barring textplosive celebratory conversations, this is the most text messages I've ever received all at once. Apparently a lot of people or maybe just one or two have a lot of things they want to say to me that they don't want me to hear or read. Call, people. It's probably going to be like this for another week or two.

In two weeks I'll be old enough to go see your band almost always. It's especially funny telling that to people I've known since I was 14. I can't believe there are people I've known that long that aren't blood-related that are still in my life. I freakin' love that. I think it's amazing. I never really thought about it, and there they are.

Last night I hung out with Lucas and Zac (I think without an h or k, but I could be wrong) and kinda Kathryn and Barda. It was a really nice time (and I wish I had a better word for it, but I don't just yet). And afterwards, driving through town again felt so perfect. And though I still think I'd rather be on that side of the bridges, even the freeway felt good. The mix I've slowly been compiling is timed exactly right for the drive, and right now those songs just make me smile so big. I'm so grateful to be back here.

Living with the living.

2008-01-30T14:35:00.000-08:00

Now that I'm ready to make my return, certain mundane necessities have resurfaced. Namely, I've resumed looking at jobs and potential places to live (but at the very least a place for band practice besides my family's basement). I found a gorgeous and inexpensive 4-bedroom house and I'd love to get some housemates for it, but I don't feel certain I can sort that out fast enough. As for jobs, I began my search at the library where, according to the job listing, "There may be some exposure to angry or hostile individuals." Amazing.

In other non-news, my phone broke when I fell on it the other night. I can still take and make calls and hear when people text message me, but that's it. I can't know who I'm talking to until the other person talks, read received texts or send 'em, etc. At first this seemed like it could be fun, but listening to the familiar chime of an incoming message is becoming torturous.

All that aside:
+ the Chris Walla record is beautiful
+ the video for "Sing Again" is adorable
+ I have strawberry Pez.
+ I've been writing some songs that I actually like.

Oh yeah.

2008-01-25T12:32:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had pretty much all of my hair cut off. I'm going to save a bundle on shampoo and conditioner!

I really do still like you.

2008-01-24T03:03:00.000-08:00

I was writing an email to a friend and realized it says the same thing I need to say to a few folks, most of whom live in Seattle or Bellingham or the general vicinity of Seattlingham:

...sorry for not being more in touch lately. It's been taking me a while to get over things (sickness, shit-quality people and the shit-quality things they've done, myself, etc.). Mostly myself, really.... Anyway, I'm a lot better now but still kind of wobbly about human contact and waking up with blood crusting in my nose (no need to thank me for that image) which is maybe a little bit of a worry. I'm working on it. I start practicing with Chris soon which should help. Anyway, I will call you soon is all I mean.

...slightly edited. I think "shit-quality" is a little more accurate than "shitty" somehow. And you don't need to know about how Gmail was splitting my letters up instead of words... Though now you know anyway. And the email didn't actually namecheck Chris as this person doesn't know the guy so it wouldn't have made sense to. But that sums it up. Chances are I was supposed to hang out with you then I got sick for two and a half weeks and hoped my heart would stop hurting so much by the time my cold-stomach flu-cough-normal flu-nausea-general physical takeover subsided but it didn't. In some cases I even tried hanging out with you in this state. I was probably weird (more than usual, I mean). Sorry about that.

Unrelated:
I've been staying up too late lately, I'll be 21 years old in less than a month and I'm not sure when it will be 2008.

make more sense.

2008-01-03T15:03:00.000-08:00

The night that would have been new year's eve, someone told me exactly the words I needed to be told. I don't even know how he meant it or what he meant by it, but when that kind of thing happens, I have no place questioning it. Sometimes I can only be supremely grateful for the good people in my life who see good things in me. Without you, there's no telling how lost I'd be.

Make yourself at home.

2007-12-27T21:25:00.000-08:00

I felt ready to settle down for a minute... but I really don't think I am.

I left Australia early, and if it wasn't for flight cancellations and All Shall Perish, I might think I made the wrong decision. ("Why did you leave early, Cristina?" I left early because I don't always win the fight against my crazies.)

December 24th in the airport in Adelaide, I sit on the floor with my Duty Free purchases, iPod and book making a mental note of the gang of dudes who look maybe like they could be DJs (that is, bearded and wearing Deez Nuts gear). So the flight to Auckland is delayed. And then delayed again. And then cancelled. Air New Zealand greets us at the end of a long and nearly motionless line of disgruntled customers, directs us to a bus which takes us to the Hyatt where we stay for free and are granted a free room service dinner and drink tickets. Suddenly my crazies fade and I notice from the inside of room 1314 that I'm in Australia. In a really freakin' nice hotel. For free.

Maybe this is a sign that I need to be alone sometimes. Within minutes I have removed my jeans and t-shirt in favour of the dress I bought when I was wondering how to dress appropriately for a family I don't know too well's Christmas festivities. I'm trying unsuccessfully to call Air New Zealand to make sure my transfers were taken care of and then jumping on the bed and turning down drinking with the band (on the way out of the airport as we were made to re-collect baggage I spotted their gear). Eventually I give up on calling Air New Zealand. Mom's checked and it sounds okay anyway. Jett is tied up for most of the day, so I hit the town scouting for Christmas gifts. No luck, but still, I hadn't hit the town alone before then and it was different. Plus I was in the good dress. Upon my return to the hotel I order room service (the most expensive dinner on the menu), change into a bathrobe and eat and sleep and eat. Read. Watch Brazil. Take a few calls from Jett, stand in the window waving at him 30 km away and am so ludicrously happy. When he finally comes over, even though the show we go to see is apparently not happening, we have an amazing night. Even though the casino is closed, we have so much fun. At least I do. He gives me a fake tour around the convention center. I climb on and into sculptures. We eat what the Jersey girl in me wants to call water ice. For the first time in a while, he doesn't seem to be even remotely distracted or controlled by his phone or computer; we just have fun and it feels so perfect. On a day I imagined I'd spend on an airplane flying away from Adelaide, Adelaide and I have the most beautiful time I never dreamed of.

When we woke up, it was Christmas. Actually, it was Christmas when we went to sleep. Goodbyes are on North Terrace, where it's cold for summer, still dark and 5 in the morning. As I walk onto the bus - I'm not even kidding - "I Aint Missing You" by John Waite is playing. My stomach is angry on the airplane and I am stuck in the window seat behind a man who sleeps with his legs wide apart, his tray table down and his hands clasped on top of it. Fuck.

But I get into Auckland with four or five hours until the flight to San Francisco. I run into the band again and we're given free vouchers to the VIP lounge. I spend what feels like most of Christmas day in the emptiest part of the VIP lounge with the guys who I discover are actually a death metal band called All Shall Perish (who were on tour with the Red Shore if anyone heard about the awful accident that resulted in the death of the driver/merch guy and singer). We take advantage of the free things, mildly inappropriate discussions occur, messes are made, the paying VIPs look a little perturbed and it's a little funny. And it turns out we're all seated in the same row on the plane to SFO. WTF, right?

So this is what we do. This is how it goes. Sometimes the simplest things that come from nowhere, the ones I expect the least that just creep up and happen, that I couldn't have forced into existence, make my life amazing. And here I am realising that I don't really know myself so well these days. I'm not always sure what I want, what goals to work backwards from. But every time I figure out something I want, it's amazing. And every time something else happens on the way there, it's incredible. I'm putting up trellises and waiting for vines now. Whatever is supposed to happen will always happen.

...on a quiet stretch of I-5...

2007-12-03T21:56:00.000-08:00

Last night at the school holiday party I saw two of my former teachers' panties because they flipped up their skirts on stage. Both said "bad girl". Entirely unrelated to seeing teacher panties, I am moving back north. The time has come, friends, and I am beyond stoked. That's the official word. Don't ready the guest bed unless you need a new roommate.

Also, I'm fixated on Fugazi's The Argument lately. Somehow I didn't ever look into it when I was first introduced to Fugazi the year after that record came out, and then "Full Disclosure" came on last.fm and afterwards there wasn't one other song I could listen to without being frustrated. So I bought the record and it is beyond rad.

2007-11-25T04:03:00.000-08:00

I'd just like to take a minute to reiterate that Ted Leo is the man, even when he's just tying his shoe.

I wear my hair fizzy.

2007-11-19T14:13:00.000-08:00

I saw/hung out with Shook Ones and Easel last night in Anaheim, and thank goodness. I can't begin to tell you how much fun I had. Typically when I've been out lately, somewhere around midnight I start wanting to just go to bed, but this time after parting ways at 1am I found myself in a textplosion kind of wishing I was still out, changing names in my phone to things like "Bird Nest Hair" instead. Clearly I need to spend more time at hardcore shows and maybe join Team Samba.

So, the rest of '07 is shaping up to be amazing, I think. I'm filling it with good times, good people and just doing good in general. I'm excited again!

It’s too late now, so don’t break the rhythm

2007-11-18T13:16:00.000-08:00

Did everyone already see the brilliant new TL/RX video? Holy gracious, it's wonderful. And the temporary bassist/former tour manager with the wine bottle whom I loved is in it! Bonus!

I've taken up kickboxing (okay, not really kickboxing, just the moves. I don't intend to fight). My gosh if you ever wanted to feel desperately out of shape, starting with this is definitely a good way to do it. It should feel pretty amazing in a few weeks or months, though, and I'm looking forward to that. But for now, it hurts! ("What do we love?"..."PAIN!")

Last night I was introduced to Blackadder via YouTube. Now I'm kinda hooked.

No one's keeping you captive in the town that let you down...

2007-11-12T00:43:00.000-08:00

The best things in life are free. The best things in Los Angeles are 99 cents... like this hat:

I was talking to Jett about holidays and wondering why new year's eve is such a big deal to me. I may have finally sorted out that all it is is a night. It's just a night like any other night. You can "start over" and dream of the great unknown whenever you want. And it seems scarier or tougher or something to do it when it isn't the 1st of something and you aren't in a different geographical place, but it's certainly possible. Last week's crappy locked-out debacle which ended in finding a "3 DAY NOTICE TO PAY RENT OR QUIT" taped to my door (management didn't receive my check somehow) was the turn for me. I'm switching back to the voice program (sorry, Jack), I'm reading and writing more, spending more time with my camera, joining a gym, actually unpacking my boxes and organizing my apartment, getting out and playing shows again...

So I guess all I mean is that my foray into the non-posi is coming to a close. No, I'm certain of it 'cause the MySpace cosmos sent the first words I've heard from Sir Olmstead of the Knights of Posi, and that's obvious reinforcement. I guess he's been out on tour with Shook Ones, so I guess I'll be out seeing them next week in Anaheim. Yeah!

You've got to be kidding me.

2007-11-04T16:34:00.000-08:00

This day just keeps getting better and better.

[/sarcasm]

[there's a Paxil Rose joke to be made here]

2007-11-04T12:02:00.000-08:00

Now on my list of dumbest things I've ever done: Locking my keys in my apartment while carrying only a cell phone with one bar left of battery. Not just any apartment, no - I've done that before and been able to do the credit card trick. But this apartment? Where I currently live? Impossible. That and my locks seem to be made of Satan. On the upside, at least so long as I lock my doors, I'll never need to worry about people breaking in. On the downside, I locked myself out approximately 14 hours ago. I already had my bitchfest of details once to Jett and will likely do a repeat performance when I talk to my mom later, so I'll spare you. I will tell you, though, that parting with $242.71 has never been so. infuriatingly. stupid. ...And as soon as the locksmith leaves, I get to sweep the pieces and dust of door and doorknob. And my broom is still in storage.

I consider this all a sign.

...But thank goodness for friends who let me sleep on their couch and color in their coloring books.

But if you hold on to what you've got...

2007-11-02T13:17:00.000-07:00

I'm certain instant coffee isn't the right thing for me to be drinking right now. Rebel, rebel.

Oh, Ted Leo. If I could watch him be amazing every day, I would not hesitate to do so. Since the El Rey won't let in cameras with removable lenses, I took it upon myself to make a couple of videos. Which, sadly, meant not dancing and screaming along for three songs. But still. You can view them here and here. I can't quite explain it and it sounds so cheesy, but it's so liberating to be at his shows. All the dancing and words my body couldn't string together on its own and it's the most hope I've ever had. And for goodness sake, if it doesn't make you feel whole-heartedly happy to watch the man bounce around with his springy cable and 335 and little boots, you may have a physical condition that they can prescribe something for.

Also extraordinarily liberating? I'm learning this Noisettes song, "Sister Rosetta." If you put all of yourself into singing it, it feels incredible. Seriously, just go find it somewhere, even just on youtube and google the lyrics. Listen once. Sing along the second time. It's major super fun. Especially if you also dance with it and don't scream so hard you hurt yourself.

This week, the truth that was stressing me out regarding school (that truth being that my heart is in singing/writing and not really engineering or production) turned into strength. I'm sure this is very telling of where I am in my youth, but it's amazing how accepting what few facts I can find (or, more often, are pointed out to me by the best people in my life) in myself just makes me feel so much more sturdy and steady.

Wack slacks.

2007-10-23T20:35:00.000-07:00

Today I found a used copy of Hype! at Amoeba for $49.99 and laughed.

I saw life turn into a tv show.

2007-10-22T19:31:00.000-07:00

Lately I haven't got the attention span to listen to most songs in their entirety. But I do have a new pair of headphones to listen to them through, the nicest I've ever had. I have a lot of things that I probably don't deserve yet, and I think AKG k240s go on that list. Sometimes I wonder if my life isn't an experiment to see how long one can get away with having more good things than one deserves before it all goes pearshaped, and sometimes I think the answer is approximately three days. It doesn't mean I'm not grateful.

And in all honesty, it's probably the attention span thing.

...But this is a long sentence:

I wonder if it means anything that the other day I electrocuted myself pretty frighteningly when my finger slipped as I was unplugging the shady garbage disposal that is one of the best things about my kitchen, thought of the episode of Sex and the City where Miranda chokes on Chinese food and freaks out about dying alone and then today when I got off the phone with my mom after talking about how I much I want to be able to spend time with the people I love and how alone isn't so cool and exciting the way it used to be, I found that episode of Sex and the City just happened to be on.